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This blog is about the lives of a few entrepreneurs who are aiming to establish the next trend in social networking and the concept that will make it happen. Since our venture is all about connecting people together, we want to be involved and connected to you and we want you to be involved and connected to us. We'll be sharing with you: who we are, how we got started, how we’re doing and where we’re going...we're taking you along for the ride!!

Monday, June 4, 2007

Airing Out The Truth

At the end of 1996, I was a Lance Corporal stationed in 29 Palms Ca. I would have to look up my leave and earning statement (LES) to know exactly how much I was making, but what’s really relevant it that, it wasn’t much. Thankfully, I lived in the barracks and could eat at the chow hall and had all of my basic needs taken cared of for me. I was making a car payment and had begun investing $50 dollars a month into a mutual fund (this is a story in of itself). Those were tough times and I had to budget buying a new shirt and outfit. I hated it. I hated not being able to go into the store and just buy something. I swore and promised myself I would get pass this quickly and never be in that situation again.

A few years later, I was a Lieutenant stationed on Okinawa and making some pretty decent money. I was saving and investing a lot and could leisurely buy anything that fancied me.

Today, after about two years of being out of the Marine Corps and chasing my dreams…I am worst off then Lance Corporal Bernard was. It’s hard for me to write this without tears swelling into my eyes. How the hell did this happened?

I am slowly becoming ashamed to admit what I have earned in the last two years. This is perhaps becoming misplaced pride, but none the less, it’s making me wonder a great deal. Is it all worth it?

The stories are endless of the many millionaires who first hit rock bottom and became dirt poor prior to making it big. Many entrepreneurs have been plagued with failures, bankruptcies and all sorts of hardships. The ones who make it, are the ones who have the perseverance, courage and heart to keep on trying, to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again.

Truth is, you can’t begin to imagine what that is like…unless, you are living it or have lived it. I wonder if I am weaker then them? I’m not planning on giving up…but, I wonder if I’m allowing the experience to hurt me more then it needs to. So, what if I’m broke, have spent my savings and investments and am still sitting in uncertainty…I have my youth, my health, my friends and family, a very high intellect and frankly, plenty of job options. Why, am I feeling so beat up? Am I just a cry baby with low tolerance of uncertainty?

There are three major sources of uncertainty in our lives: Money, Love and Health. For now, my uncertainty fully revolves around money. Money to pay the mortgage and pay the bills. I’m not homeless, I’m not starving and I’m not naked…nor will I allow it to get that far.

I have reached my enough, is enough point, but I still refuse to take on a job that will lead me to be miserable. I’m not looking for a regular 9-5, nor am I interested in looking for a new career for myself. I want to be my own boss. I want to create a multi-million dollar corporation. I want it and I refuse to give up on it.

I’m caught in this infinite loop of extreme desires for my life…that are filled with passion for everything that I love. Anything less then that is unsatisfactory and unacceptable. It’s a constant internal battle that I can’t easily put into words, but writing this post is helping me ease the pressure I am feeling…pressure, I am putting on myself.

We our worst enemies and our worst critiques. In the world of coaching, we call this fighting our gremlins. I have no clue what will happen next; whether I will get the job I am interviewing for on Wednesday, a new investor will pop-up, the money will come in from our “one basket”, or nothing will happen and I will have to decide if I am going to move or have to take some other drastic measures.

That is exactly where I am tonight, as I am preparing to go to sleep.

Once I’m a millionaire, I will read this post and remember what it took!!

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